


Endeavours Too Short of Desire

by FairyTaleAdventures



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28358097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyTaleAdventures/pseuds/FairyTaleAdventures
Summary: The three times Audrey Lim and Neil Melendez almost kissed during their residency days.____________This work can be considered a "summarised prequel" if you will.
Relationships: Audrey Lim/Neil Melendez
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	Endeavours Too Short of Desire

**One**

The first time they almost kissed, it was an accident. They were both emotional and got caught up in the heat of the moment.

It was their first year working together. Neither of them really considered the other a friend; more like an acquaintance who they occasionally went out for drinks with after a long work day. It's not that they didn't like each other. Deep down, both of them found something intriguing about the other that made it impossible to keep their distance. They’d never admit that, of course, instead claiming the other was nothing but an annoyance.

If asked about it, Audrey didn’t hesitate to paint Neil as an arrogant wise guy, who only ever thought he was right. Neil, on the other hand, would say Audrey was a pretentious know-it-all, who always felt the need to correct him. Still, their seemingly contrasting personalities were anything but. When it came down to it, they shared the same values.

Glassman had noticed this similarity early on in their residency. There was something about the way the two doctors complemented each other so perfectly that drove him to pair the two up for cases so regularly. Sure, they often bickered and made a scene, but in the end, they got results. Plus the patients were always able to overlook their constant bickering when the outcomes consisted of a safe return to their families. That, and the fact that the two doctors were a great source of entertainment and a good distraction from the scary unknown that was surgery.

Their latest case involved a little girl named Nara. Just like every other child, Nara was a fun-loving ball of joy. In fact, her name stemmed from her Japanese heritage meaning happy, fitting for her energetic nature.

On her third day admitted at the hospital, Nara celebrated her fifth birthday. The three days leading up to her birthday had been so chaotic and filled with emotions, that her parents couldn't tell where one day ended and a new one began. And so, on the day of her birthday, her parents nearly forgot. It wasn't until the regular evening nurse had started her shift that they had come to the daunting realisation.

For a moment, her parents debated whether or not to mention the special day to Nara. When children looked back on their birthdays they were supposed to remember cake, piñatas, and winning prizes, not hospital rooms, doctors, and needles. However, Nara's health was rapidly beginning to decline with no cure in sight. As frightening as the idea was, her parents feared it may be her last one.

It wasn’t much, but the teddy bear with a red balloon tied to its arm that her dad was able to get from the gift shop was enough to make her smile. She held the bear close to her chest as another vile of blood was drawn, no longer scared by the tiny pin prick of the needle. In an attempt to sweeten the day, Neil had stolen a cupcake from the nurses station. He found a single candle and was able to get a group together to sing her happy birthday, making the young girl bounce in her bed with glee. Unfortunately, Nara was only able to take two bites out of the sugary treat before the pain in her abdomen was back and the joyful evening was once again plagued with fear.

That was three weeks ago.

Since then, the child had undergone a minor surgery and many tests and screenings, only to be right back at square one with the same ominous symptoms.

Neil and Audrey were frustrated, exhausted, and worst of all, out of ideas. With Glassman by their side, they worked day and night with little to no sleep, doing everything they could to find a diagnosis. Every solution they came up with presented new problems. Every test they did, came up with the opposite results of which they were expecting. They even went as far as reaching out to other doctors around the nation. It was a gesture they rarely did (as they never needed to), but in this case, they were in a desperate need of a miracle.

Sitting on opposite sides of the table, Neil and Audrey worked diligently, avoiding each other's side glances as they simultaneously flipped through pages of outdated medical textbooks (all the newer versions had already been read from cover to cover), looking for something, anything that could lead to an answer.

Before the sun set that evening, the pair had both accidentally fallen asleep. Their arms were folded on the table, their head in the crook of their arms, completely oblivious to the world around them. They stayed like that for over an hour until Audrey woke with a loud gasp, startling Neil from his own slumber.

"I have an idea!" She exclaimed.

Not bothering to elaborate further, she jumped up from her seat, the rolling chair hitting the wall with a loud thud.

Automatically in doctor mode, she began looking through the books lined up on the bookshelf.

"Audrey?" Neil questioned.

She ignored him, her focus fixed on the journals, obviously looking for a specific one.

"Here!" She pulled the worn down book missing its title page from the bottom shelf and flipped though it with determination until she landed on the article she was looking for. She pointed to the first paragraph on the page. "I remember reading about this in Med School. It might be a long shot, but it's the only valuable option we have."

Neil’s eyes darted rapidly across the page, absorbing as much information as fast as possible. Time was not something they had on their side.

"So?" Audrey questioned when she noticed his eyes come to a stop.

"It's risky,” was his response. Their eyes met, tired, but full of hope. "But it could work."

"It has to."

They immediately brought the idea to Glassman, running down the hall, nearly crashing into other staff and receiving shouts of disapproval at their recklessness. They raced to catch him before he left for the day, finding him as he was about to leave through the main entrance doors.

"There are some serious long term health complications that could arise from this procedure,” Glassman had told them.

"But what other option do we have?" Audrey demanded.

"Dr. Lim’s plan is our best shot at this girl living to see her sixth birthday,” Neil said honestly.

Glassman sighed. "Go tell the parents. Inform them of the procedure, post surgical complications, and most importantly, let them know their daughter might not make it off the operating table alive."

They took off down the hall once again, this time Glassman not far behind them.

Two hours later, the three surgeons dressed in scrubs and surrounded by the supporting surgical team, made the first cut into Nara’s abdomen.

Six hours later, the only sound coming from the operating room was the constant beep of the vitals machine.

Nara didn't make it.

Without a word, Audrey removed her surgical mask and left the operating room, ignoring the concerned eyes of her superior and shrugging off Neil's hand on her arm.

Neil found her not too long later in an isolated corner just outside the hospital, sitting on a bench, elbows on her thighs and head in her hands. He could tell by the way her shoulders were shaking that she was crying. Wordlessly, he walked up to the bench, sat beside her, and placed one arm around her shoulder. It was the most contact they had ever had. At first, she tried to pull away from him, turning her body out of his embrace, but he persisted, only pulling her closer to him. She gave in. Removing her hands from her face, she buried her head in Neil's shoulder, allowing him to comfort her, and allowing herself to be comforted.

They stayed like that for a long while, eyes wet, allowing the other to grieve.

Once all the tears had been shed and their breathing had returned to normal, Audrey lifted her head from Neil’s shoulder, her eyes meeting his. There was something about the way he looked at her with such care, a feeling that was so foreign to her, that it made her breath hitch in her throat. They were so close and as she watched him inhale audibly, she couldn’t help but let her eyes falter to his lips.

The twitch of his lips told her that he was watching her and the fact that he didn’t immediately pull away filled her with a sensation she couldn’t quite describe. As she leaned in closer, his lips parted, as if in silent permission and suddenly, the need to be touched overpowered the voice in her head screaming at her that this was a terrible idea. Closing her eyes, she braced herself for the touch of his mouth on hers as she closed the remaining gap.

At the last second, Neil turned his head, her lips landing on the corner of his mouth. She pulled back sharply, as if his skin had burned. She felt confused and rejected, on top of all the other emotions she was already feeling.

"You're hurting,” was Neil's explanation. "You'd regret it in the morning."

Without another word, Audrey stood up and walked away, not so much as giving him a second glance as she made her way back into the building. 

The first time they made eye contact after the incident there was a beat of hesitation. They stood motionless, shocked, staring into one another’s eyes trying impossibly to read each other’s thoughts. Neither got the answer they were looking for but it didn’t matter, because someone made a comment about something completely unrelated and like a switch had been turned off, they went right back to bickering, their moment completely forgotten.

**Two**

The second time they almost kissed, it didn't happen until six years later.

In that time, while their relationship was a whirlwind of ups and downs, they had ultimately become close friends. There was an obvious mutual attraction that had been formed. They both knew it existed. It was hard not to notice it, especially when other people were constantly pointing it out. Most of the time, it was just their colleagues trying to tease them and as a result, the comments were always taken halfheartedly, unwilling to let it mess with their heads. But sometimes, they would be working simultaneously on a case and their patient would casually ask if they were a couple. Those were the comments that were a little harder to let go.

The first time it happened, they shook their heads and laughed it off, unable to understand how that conclusion could possibly have been drawn. The second time it happened, they simultaneously rolled their eyes and told their patient they were just friends. The third time it happened, Neil and Audrey shared an awkward look of uncertainty. They were not dating, but the possibility of being more was definitely there. The fourth time it happened, however, Audrey was in the beginning of a new relationship with her soon to be husband, and the question brought up a lot of undealt with feelings.

The patient was an older lady, late seventies, bright silver hair, and a face that could warm even the coldest of people. She was friendly and talkative and really enjoyed sharing stories about her family. She was in the middle of recalling a story about her and her late husband as Neil and Audrey were prepping her for surgery, when Neil had made a humorous quip about something she had said. On instinct, Audrey responded with a quip of her own. Something about their interaction made the lady laugh and then proceed to ask the pair how long they had been a couple for.

The two stared at each other from opposite sides of the hospital bed. It had been awhile since that assumption had been made. As they stood there attempting to gauge what the other was thinking with little to no success, their patient’s head moved back and forth between the two, watching the silent interaction.

“She’s actually dating someone else,” Neil had informed. Even though Audrey had been in a relationship for close to a year, it was the first time he had acknowledged it out loud.

“Oh,” the lady said, then directed her attention to Audrey. “Is it serious?”

Audrey nodded, offering her an amiable smile. “It’s pretty serious. He proposed to me over the weekend.”

Neil felt a white-hot stab of panic. That is what had been on Audrey’s mind that morning. He could feel something was off the moment she walked through the door. She was unusually quiet around him and his suspicions were later confirmed when he caught her staring at him across the meeting room table while they were silently working on the pre-op paperwork. When he finally decided to catch her, she looked away guiltily, putting up a demeanour that Neil was having trouble deciphering. He decided to let it go.

Neil’s eyes wandered to her left hand, only to find it bare. Suddenly, his panic was overpowered by a wave of relief, then perplexity. She wasn’t wearing a ring, but she had just said her relationship was serious.

Their patient must have shared a similar look to Neil because Audrey looked down at her ring finger, and then met the lady’s stare once more before continuing. “I told him I had to think about it. There’s a lot of things to consider.”

The lady nodded understandingly. “Well don’t keep him waiting too long.”

She didn’t. The next day she came to work with a large diamond ring shining from her finger catching the attention of all those around her.

When they finally got a moment alone together, Neil had told her congratulations. His praise was genuine, accompanied by a smile. She smiled back and offered him her thanks. They refrained from talking about it anymore.

It wasn’t long until the couple got married. Even though he was invited to the wedding, Neil didn’t go. He made up some lame excuse that Audrey didn’t buy about his family being in town, when instead, he sat at home wallowing in his regrets.

Audrey’s relationship with her husband didn’t last long. Within a few months into the marriage, Audrey showed up on Neil’s doorstep, unannounced, eye’s red and swollen, telling him she was going to file for divorce. They hadn’t had much contact outside of work since she had gotten married, but that didn’t stop Neil from welcoming her into his home and providing her with the comfort she so desperately needed. He made her a cup of tea (even though she requested whisky) and sat with her on the couch and let her vent. When she was done, he grabbed her hand in his and just sat with her until she had worked up the strength to leave.

A few long and gruelling months later, Audrey once again showed up on his doorstep.

“It’s officially over,” was the first thing she said when he opened the door.

Wordlessly, Neil opened the door further and gestured for her to enter. She did.

They spent the evening eating takeout, talking, and laughing. For the first time in a long while, it felt like old times. There was no awkwardness or need to choose their words carefully in fear they would upset the other. It was just two friends who were talking aimlessly, as if they hadn’t seen each other in years.

They were settled on the couch in his living room, on opposite ends, enjoying each other’s company - as well as a bottle of wine, when Audrey decided to share a particularly defining moment.

“I was going to run away,” she confessed, pausing to take a sip of her wine. “Once I filed for divorce.”

“Run away where?” Neil asked.

“Boston. Massachusetts General had a job opening and I applied.”

“You didn’t get the job?”

“Oh I did, but then I realised I wasn’t quite ready to leave St. Bonaventure. There are things here I’m not ready to give up.” She held eye contact with him for a long moment then turned her gaze to the drink in her hand and added, “people I’m not ready to give up.”

Neil swallowed thickly then said, “good.”

“Good?”

“Yeah, you’d hate it in Massachusetts. It’s cold and wet and all their sports teams suck. Plus, I’d miss you.”

His confession was not something that surprised her; she felt the same way. What did surprise her was his ability to say it out loud without any hints of hesitation. It made her realise that even though their friendship had been rocky the past year, they were still them and that wasn’t about to change anytime soon. 

“I’d miss you too,” she replied honestly.

Her admission made Neil’s heart warm and as she smiled tenderly at him, Neil felt a new wave of overwhelming affection for her. He scooted closer to her on the couch, one leg hanging off the side, the other folded on the cushion and brushed up against hers. Audrey’s eyes widened at the sudden closeness but she didn’t retreat nor push him away. Neil took this as a sign that he hadn’t overstepped the boundaries and placed a hand on her thigh and leaned in. He paused just inches away from her lips, watching her for any indications that this wasn’t what she wanted and when he didn’t find any, he leaned in further.

The sudden tingling of his breath on her lips was all it took for her to realise their evening was about to take a long-awaited turn, one she still wasn’t ready for. “Wait,” Audrey said. Before Neil could feel rejected, she added. “Not now. Not like this.”

Neil nodded in understanding and backed away. She still needed time. Her divorce was still so fresh and the lingering effects still hadn’t worn off. But if time was all she needed before she was willing to finally give them a shot, he could give her that.

“I should go,” Audrey said, standing up and grabbing her coat off the back of the couch.

“You don’t need to leave,” Neil replied, trying to ease the tension in the room.

Her lips twitched upward, a gesture that didn’t quite meet her eyes. “It’s getting late. Thank you for the food. And the wine. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

She let herself out and Neil sunk into the back of the couch.

This wasn’t how he wanted the evening to turn out and he just prayed he hadn’t ruined everything.

**Three**

The third time they almost kissed, it happened a year after the second time. They would have gone through with it too had they not been interrupted.

At the time, they were still reeling from the events that took place after Audrey’s failed marriage, including the part where they had almost kissed. Without so much as a conversation about what had happened, Neil and Audrey went back to their typical routine, consisting of dancing around each other and not talking about their feelings. This time it was different, however; this time, there was almost an underlying tinge of hostility.

The subtle touches were still there, along with the lingering gazes, but instead of flirty banter and witty quips that was a pleasant source of entertainment for all those around, their tones were much harsher and their words more unkind. This difference of behaviour made everyday a challenge. Their lives were so closely intertwined, the bitterness was like an anchor tied to the ankle weighing them down.

Communication wasn’t their strong trait. It never had been throughout the course of their relationship. Neither knew how to approach the situation; how to make things right again. That’s not to say neither of them made any attempts to rid the anchor. Neil specifically tried with little to no success, but Audrey always backed away; forced space between them and made it impossible for anything to progress forward.

At first, Neil understood. She had gone through a rather difficult time during the break up. If the times she showed up on his doorstep - teary eyed and shaking, said anything about the intensity of her divorce, he knew it was best to take things slow. And that’s exactly what he did.

But the walls she put up around her heart were thicker this time, harder to shatter. There was only so long he was willing to wait for her to come around before he had to make the decision as to whether or not to move on. As months passed, his patience began to rapidly decline and he found himself in a position where he had a decision to make: continue to wait for Audrey to be open to a relationship again, or go out on a date with someone new.

He chose the latter.

Neil went on a wonderful date with a beautiful woman who was smart, funny, down to earth, and most importantly, willing to be in a relationship with him. He liked Jessica and after only spending one evening together at some elegant restaurant, he knew he wanted to see her again. He could see a future with her.

Unfortunately, time restraints became the first hindrance to the new budding romance. The pair worked incredibly demanding hours and it was near impossible to find any time to be together. This resulted in brief conversations in the halls or rushed lunches at the hospital cafeteria. That small amount of contact was all it really took, however, for people to take notice and start asking him about his “new lady friend.”

The first time it happened, Audrey just so happened to be in proximity.

He didn’t plan it that way.

It was a Friday afternoon and the two doctors had spent the week dealing with a newlywed couple. The young couple, named Sam and Nathan, were in their mid-twenties, happy, and so in love. The pair had been brought into the ER after a multi-vehicle car accident. While the injuries sustained were not life-threatening, Sam was in need of a kidney transplant due to a pre-existing condition that had been hastened due to the trauma.

It just so happened that Sam’s husband was a perfect match to be her donor, and just as the couple had planned months previously, he was prepared to give her one of his kidneys once the final tests came back and an operation date was set. The only problem was, she no longer had that kind of time and needed the surgery right away. Due to the trauma Nathan had sustained as part of the accident, he was in no condition to be giving away body parts, and therefore his donation was no longer a possibility. That left Neil and Audrey with one valuable option: finding another donor before it was too late.

Nathan didn’t like that plan, especially as the days went on and there was still no solution in sight.

“I’ll still do it,” Nathan had said. He was sitting in a wheelchair beside his wife’s bedside, his fractured leg casted from foot to hip and raised on a stool. 

“That’s no longer an option,” Audrey tried to explain. “Your body has been through significant trauma these past couple of days and I’m afraid you won’t be able to handle the physical stress that comes along with undergoing surgery.”

“I’m fine,” he said. He reached for his wife’s hand and intertwined their fingers. “Besides, it’s worth the risk.”

Neil spoke up for the first time since Audrey had broken the news to the couple. “You have to understand this in an incredibly invasive surgery. Your body has suffered through a lot and as a result, you could experience a multitude of complications, death being one of them.”

“I’ll do it.”

“Can I see you outside for a second?” Audrey asked, her question directed at Neil. She didn’t wait for an answer before grabbing him by the forearm and dragging him out of the patient room and out of ear shot.

“What are you doing?” She demanded. “You’re making it sound like this is an actual possibility.”

“I’m not completely ruling it out.”

“His entire leg is wrapped in a cast, he suffered a dislocated shoulder, has a concussion, and has lacerations all around his body. That doesn’t even take into account the fact that he just started eating solid foods again. You know very well as much as I do that this is not an option.”

“I don’t see why we can’t at least take it into consideration. He wants to do this and the success rate is still high.”

“It’s not practical and it’s dangerous. Plus he is in no shape to be making life changing decisions.”

“Oh come on!” Neil raised his voice, drawing attention to their conversation. “They’re in love. It’s worth the risk.”

Audrey took a deep breath, calming her own rising temper. Finally she said, “My job is to keep my patients alive, not attempt to pull some risky procedure just because they’re in love.”

“Speaking of love,” a nurse chimed in, popping up from seemingly thin air. “I heard through the grapevine that you have a potential new love interest, Dr. Melendez.”

Neil’s face immediately reddened and he stumbled on his words in an attempt to come up with a response that would get rid of the nurse as quickly as possible. Words were not needed as his flustered behaviour was enough to confirm her suspicions and have her walking away with a smirk on her face.

Neil glanced at Audrey for the first time since their interruption, and what he found made his heart heavy in his chest. She was hurt.

He opened his mouth to say something to her, anything that would make the situation easier on the both of them, but no words came out.

Audrey didn’t wait for his explanation. She didn’t want to hear it. Instead, she took a deep breath, poised her shoulders, and said calmly, “your judgement has been clouded by your new relationship. I want you off this case.” With that, she turned around and headed down the hall.

Neil stood there, in the middle of the hallway, patients and staff alike who had caught the tail end of their conversation staring at him, waiting for his next move. It took a whole three seconds before his brain finally caught up with his emotions and he found his footing and ran after her.

“Audrey!” He called down the hall. She didn’t turn around and instead, picked up her pace.

His long strides were enough to catch up to her, and once he did, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into an empty patient room, shutting the door behind him.

“Move,” she ordered and reached for the door. Neil stepped in front of her, blocking the exit.

“Why are you mad at me?” He asked, genuinely curious. They were not dating. They had no claims to one another. She had made sure of that. So he didn’t understand her sudden hostility.

“I’m not mad.”

“Yes you are. Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Jessica. It’s still very new and I wasn’t really sure if there was anything to tell just yet.”

“I’m happy for you.” She didn’t mean it. The wetness in her eyes told him that.

“Audrey,” his voice was pained. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t mean for her to find out this way. He didn’t mean to hurt her. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her. But he also couldn’t wait around forever until she decided she was ready to be in a relationship with him. It wasn’t fair to him. Neil was just having a hard time explaining that all to her at the very moment.

Maybe it was the tone of his voice, the way he was troubled. Or maybe it was the look of affliction on his face that told her this wasn’t the way he wanted things to happen. But somehow, they found themselves gravitating towards each other, the space between them becoming smaller and smaller until Neil’s eyes locked with Audreys and his hands found her waist. 

Neither was sure who leaned in first, but as if it happened simultaneously, their faces were only inches apart.

“Tell me you want to be with me,” Neil whispered, his mouth so close to hers she could feel his words on her lips. “Tell me you want to be with me and I’ll end the relationship.”

Audrey swallowed thickly. Her eyes faltered from his to his lips than back to his eyes. “I-” she wanted to say it, but couldn’t quite get the words out.

Neil leaned in further, and Audrey closed her eyes, waiting for the brush of his lips against hers.

It didn’t come. The door to the room opened and reactively, Neil removed his hands from Audrey’s waist.

A nurse stood there, a stack of folded blankets in her arms, with her mouth hung open and her forehead crinkled, obviously in shock. She recovered quickly. Clearing her throat she let out a muffled apology and left in a hurry, without so much as closing the door behind her.

By the time Neil recovered, Audrey had already come to terms with what had happened and was walking out the door.

“Audrey,” he extended his hand to grab her arm but she was already out of reach.

This time, he didn’t follow her.


End file.
